Notes From A Bear's Journey

Nearing the End (of Life)    It was an interesting visit from my mother and my wife's mother, one being 89 and the other being 85.  Both are in reasonably good physical condition for their ages, mobile and bowels fully functioning as displayed by their enormous appetites, largely for desserts.  And for us, we are fortunate for both mothers are still mentally quite alert, forgetting a few small things and their multitasking skills dropping a bit; but other than a chunk of diminished hearing, they are models of how to live well in their eighties.    So it was a bit interesting to hear my neighbor, herself a thirty-year vet of nursing studies (from the ER to vascular consults to medical research) matter-of-factly lay out the traditional scenario of what typically happens to people in their mid-to-late eighties.  First, there is at some point a fall, a simple trip on a rug or a garden hose or a buried branch and the weak point that will break is the hi...

Mixed Emotions    This morning marks the beginning of the Christian celebration, that of Christmas.  And for many, it brings about a flurry of mixed emotions, the gleeful faces of little children reminding us of our own slippage into an older age, the warm aromas of festive dinners reminding us of those struggling to even come up with a hot meal, the singing and celebrating of voices contrasting sharply with the quiet reflection of religious services.    For me, the mixed emotions arrived with the news that my one remaining aunt had passed away, this just a day before the big holiday party planned for her, one where all of her relatives would be there to welcome her in her new home, one where her failing memory was treated with compassion and care.  When my brother asked me how I was taking it, I again alluded to the series I'd been watching, The Pacific (the Steven Spielberg/Tom Hanks production on WW II), the soldiers feeling that the unexpected deat...

The Gift    I have been watching (quite belatedly) the Steven Spielberg/Tom Hanks productions series, The Pacific , a sister film of sort to their earlier collaboration, Band of Brothers .  What is so moving about this 10-part series is the impact shown on both sides, the loss of life and the randomness of that decision.  Newly married, fresh out of school, worried parents, feeling immortal, none of it matters.  Leaders and underlings fall equally, as do hearts and minds.  At one point, seeing a trooper about to collapse mentally and admitting how scared he is, one leader tries to console him by simply saying, "we have to believe our cause is just."    This is a common theme among so called leaders in recent centuries, using politics or religion or a grab for power to push forward the masses, for in reality very few "leaders" actually take the lead, a vast change from days of old when troops rallied behind kings and fighters who actually risk...

(Not) Seeing Colors      I'm color blind.  No, not in the way you might be thinking, that of pointing to a bright red car and asking, "What color is that ?"  Uh, no.  I can see colors fine, just not the fine shadings between some of the pastels such as when someone says that there's a little pink in that gray swatch...really?  And if you're already saying that you're not color blind, you can (privately) take any of the simple colorblind tests , although the more extensive ones will get into more and more detail , narrowing down the shades that you are unable or less able to see, be they browns or grays or greens. What image, if any, do you see?      Colorblindness primarily affects males (on average, about 5-10%), although females sometimes can be colorblind;  and colorblindness is fairly spread out over the world, ending the myth that certain nationalities are more prone to being colorblind (a myth perhaps started more on a cult...

Going Nowhere    In the third part of this missive on the holiday rush, I had the chance to view the TED Talk by author Pico Iyer , a talk he titled, "Going Nowhere."   This was especially good timing since two of my friends have now been caught by surprise with health problems, that of an operation moving slower than expected and the other with a puzzling and unsolved diagnosis.  It's something we don't really think about, that of our health taking a turn.  Even when we get a flu bug or a sore throat, we expect it to slowly fade away...that sore back will heal, those itchy eyes will be better by morning.  But alas, life sometimes throws us a curve and suddenly, the unexpected arrives, reminding us that perhaps life is a bit more precious that we imagined (even if we always felt that we knew that all along, but then who were we kidding?).    The idea of "going nowhere" is an ancient one, often the subject of Buddhist writings as exempli...

The Malls    Here we are at the second part of the holidays, the shopping part.  And like many of you, I tend to drive by the malls, see the congested parking lot, and breathe a sigh of relief that I am merely heading to Costco for groceries.  And on I drive, leaving the crowded malls behind in my rear view mirror.  But perhaps that isn't quite true...the crowded part, at least.    In a recent posting in Bloomberg Businessweek , malls seem to be in quite a bit of trouble.  The closing of stores in malls tell the story:  Aeropostale closing 175 stores in malls, American Eagle closing 150 stores in malls, Abercrombie & Fitch closing 60 stores in malls.  Carts and kiosk sales are down nearly 5% in malls, and vacancies are nearing the 8% mark.  In fact, according to projections by Green Street Advisors (a real estate analysis company), close to 15% of malls are "expected to close or convert to other uses over the next decade." ...

Here Comes Santa's Reindeer    Okay, forget the worldwide spending spree, the urge to "buy" something for someone in the spirit of Christmas, for of course, that isn't (or shouldn't be) the spirit of Christmas at all.  What does seem to be happening more and more at this time of year is a renewal of giving to others but giving in other, non-commercial ways...bringing food to food banks, donating to charitable causes, calling friends from times past, attending or viewing a religious ceremony.  But this post is less about that, and more about the rest of the image, those reindeer pulling his sleigh.    Unless one lives way north, like Canada-Alaska north or Norway-Siberia north, one doesn't think much about reindeer;  indeed, many of us have probably never seen an actual reindeer face to face, either in the wild or behind a cage.  They are almost mythical in ways, even if they migrate in the millions and appear (yes, herds of them) in states suc...

Sleep    Ahh those precious moments when you plop down onto your pillow, your feet and body almost yelling at you and thanking you at the same time, those brief seconds when you shuffle into position, not quite there, not quite there, ahh there, and then...blank.  You're out, asleep, left to your REM sleep and a period of high activity now going on in your brain, your body recharging in a sense, neurons firing away in what few hours they have to catch-up and to process all that you have encountered while awake.  That is, if you're lucky.    In a recent article in Time , what happens when we sleep was put this way:  ... when the lights go out, our brains start working--but in an altogether different way than when we're awake.  At night, a legion of neurons springs into action, and like any well-trained platoon, the cells work in perfect synchrony, pulsing with electrical signals that wash over the brain with a soothing, hypnotic flow.  Mea...

Publishing    Two of my friends recently announced that their books had been released, one being picked up by a major publishing house and the other being self-published but out on the shelves in several stores, including Amazon .  This was especially gratifying for me, seeing two determined would-be authors now taking off and becoming, in their own right, true authors...authors of a book.    This isn't as easy as it sounds.  Many of us chat in our heads that "we could do that."  We watch the outtakes of movies and see cut after cut as the actors and actresses laugh and joke and well, it easy to think that "we could do that."  Granted, there are the exceptional actors, the Naomi Watts and Meryl Streeps and the Christian Bales and Sean Penns who put the word "acting" into an entire new category.  And in the book trade it is much the same; but who hasn't said, either to someone else or to oneself, "that would make a good book."  But as...

Out of Network    You didn't see it coming.  After all, the day was going so well;  another day to run errands, the same streets, about the same time.  So who would have thought that that person would have run that stop sign?  And wouldn't you know,  now your car door is jammed just enough that you can't open it;  in fact, the paramedics are there telling you not to move, to stay where you are, that they're almost in.  But you feel fine...it seems.  Okay, a bit of a blood taste in your mouth but nothing too serious;  probably just banged your lip or something.  So you stay quietly still, moving your head just a little to see the ambulance arriving and...are they pulling out a stretcher?    It can happen that quickly, as anyone who has watched or read or heard about such tales.  The unexpected accident.  Which is really no huge deal, unless you're suddenly unable to move, or being rushed to the hospital o...

A Path Appears    The words are part of a quote from the Chinese writer, Lu Xan: “Hope is a path on the mountainside. At first there is no path. But then there are people passing that way. And there is a path.”  The words are also the title of the book by husband-wife writing team, Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn.  Worldwide correspondents, they have won multiple Pulitzers and witnessed many cultures, seeing both the good and the bad of each and watching how quickly little things can make a difference, especially when it comes to giving, not only monetarily but of oneself by advocating or mentoring.  The subtitle of the book is Transforming Lives, Creating Opportunity .    Their book is a good reminder of what the holidays bring out in us, how we begin to feel for others again if only because we are made aware of just how fortunate we are.  Certainly the appeals that flood our inboxes and mail begin to overwhelm us, something the auth...

No Fear    My nephew is young and athletic, a bodysurfer moving steadily up the ladder to bigger and bigger waves.  At least, he was.  The other week, a wave grabbed his fins and ripped them off, first one and then the other, leaving him without the propulsion needed to either keep him ahead of the breaker or give him enough of a boost to pull out.  Surprisingly, a more experienced bodysurfer was right there, getting him away just in time and giving him a second chance as he saw what was about to happen.  His fins were the price, his sacrifice to the ocean, washed out and gone, never to be found ashore, as if the ocean was winking, the master teaching the student.    This experience almost mirrored my dealings with the ocean, my cockiness of youth and immortality almost challenging in taking advantage of the ocean, that is until the waves decided to teach me a lesson as well, pinning me to the bottom, then picking me up and tossing me "over th...

Discussion & Reviews    The other day, I was at a local bookstore pitching my game and having a good conversation with the staff, when the owner passed by to show how authors access his website;  he happened to mention to one of his clerks to simply type in a sample author's name, say, Anthony Doerr (an author I recognized due to his highly praised book, All the Light We Cannot See ).  When I asked what he thought of the book, he replied that he and his staff thought the book was fantastic, to which I politely replied that I had a bit of trouble totally agreeing with the rave reviews, having finished the book and finding it not quite as jaw-dropping as described.  And boom, the sale of my game was dead in the water.  The discussion, however politely phrased, had (at least to my thinking) come to an end (as an aside, here's the review I wrote for my library of Doerr's book:  Okay, some of my favorite authors (Abraham Verghese & J.R. Moehringer...

Eulogies    At this point in our lives (at least for many of us) we have listened to or actually spoken at many eulogies, often for those close to us.  The word comes from the Greek word for "praise," and surprisingly, a eulogy can even be given for a birthday or a retirement.  Wikipedia adds this about the word:  Eulogies are usually delivered by a family member or a close family friend in the case of a dead person.  For a living eulogy given in such cases as a retirement, a senior colleague could perhaps deliver it.  On occasions, eulogies are given to those who are severely ill or elderly in order to express words of love and gratitude before they pass away.  Eulogies should not be confused with elegies, which are poems written in tribute to the dead; nor with obituaries, which are published biographies recounting the lives of those who have recently died; nor with obsequies, which refer generally to the rituals surrounding funerals. Cath...

Reading Type    We all have our own style of reading, some of us reading much more quickly than others.  Both my wife and my brother can plow through a book in 2-3 days, and do this day after day.  As for me, my pace is a bit slower, taking about 10 days or so, spending about 15 minutes each night before dozing off (the days are saved for magazine articles).  And of course, there is the great divide, fiction or non-fiction;  and while I prefer the latter, I find some fiction particularly interesting, able to capture my imagination and send me swirling into an entirely imaginary world, be it one of this life or one totally different in time or space (Donna Tart's Pulitzer Prize winning book, The Goldfinch , was one of these).  But overall, with my slower, savoring pace of reading (and sometimes such books take me much, much longer, because I really don't want them to end), I tend to gravitate away from reading so quickly, even as I acknowledge that th...