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   Seems odd, doesn't it?  Here it is, nearly the middle of June and summer about to be in full swing.  Time is flying by.  And while I've written about this before, I find that nowhere is this more noticeable than with friends and family.  Just the other day, a friend called and the news wasn't too good as both of his siblings had late-stage cancer.  You know how the conversation goes, you're happy to hear that distant voice, chat for awhile (summing up your recent life --the highlights, no less, in about a minute; hey what have you been up to?), hear details such as he mentioned, say that we simply must get together and then, well, more time goes by.

   In this particular case, my friend mentioned that the last time he saw us was six months ago.  Six months!  So what happens?  Do our lives get busier?  Does our circle of friends change?  Do other interests take priority?  And what about family?  If one is working, such reasoning can be defended as, well, there's simply so little time...if only one were retired.  But for those who are indeed retired, time seems to both suddenly arrive and yet speed up at the same time.  The days go by quickly and the words "puttering around" begin to become a definition.  Work out, go out, head out...to the library, to the store, to lunch, to Costco.  Dinner arrives, maybe alone or with or at friends, a small dose of TV, a bit of reading, sleep then repeat the next day.

   A friend of mine ages ago surprised everyone by committing suicide.  A pretty young lady of 41, she apparently had had enough.  And it was puzzling to all.  But one possible explanation emerged at where we worked and that was depression, something little understood at the time (that is, assuming it is understood today).  She might have looked at her life this way...she was now in her 40s, had little or no family, no real future prospects, had worked all her life and for what?  To me, such an explanation made no sense, for 40 was relatively young, and who can call the future anyway and who knows who or what will walk into your life later on; and besides, there are people much much worse off than any of us can ever imagine.  But then, I didn't --and still don't-- know the world of depression.

   I once dated (briefly) a woman who told me she had attempted suicide several times; and when I tried to imagine (in a song to her) being so depressed to consider such a thing, to reach my lowest lows, to try and picture what would cause me to ultimately reach that point, she calmly listened to my song and the words and then calmly took off the headphones, looked at me and said, "not even close."  I was stunned...not even close?  She then proceeded to tell me that she wasn't even that depressed, at least not depressed enough and not brave enough to actually end her life, just to get close enough to be hospitalized.  But even at her stage of depression, she told me that when you reach those points, death seems almost welcoming, certainly more attractive than to try and keep living.  Again, it made no sense to me (my white knight persona quickly left that fair maiden and that forest).

   But getting back to the original subject, life going by can sometimes look like that, the passing of time almost evolving too quickly and soon leaving us wondering, what did I accomplish?  It would be easy to fall into that trap, too think that too little has been done, especially when we have so many distractions such as work and a seemingly endless collection of TV series (as with books and magazines, I often wonder how in the heck do people have time to watch so many of these 8 and 10 hour series?...just take a peek at Netflix or Amazon or HBO and you'll realize what I'm talking about, from Game of Thrones to Orange is the New Black to The Suits to Transparent, and those are just the popular ones).  Soon, six months have passed and indeed, old friends have been unconsciously left in the to-do pile.

   Life evolves in growth, and certainly new friends and new interests steadily come into our lives to take over, to create a new layer.  But it's interesting to look back now and then, from old high school yearbooks to early comments and photos from work.  Previous marriages and in-laws, friends that have moved or have moved on, favorite dogs and cats now replaced by new favorite dogs and cats.  Things change.  But still, it seems puzzling that these pieces seemingly come and go so easily, people and animals and things once so important in our lives and our development and memories and now just faded away.  I just threw out my middle school and high school yearbooks...after all, I stared at many of the names and pictures on them and quite honestly, other than a dozen or so, they had all gone from my life.  And perhaps that is what the true lesson of life becomes, to whittle down life to its essence, even as it changes.  Perhaps every person, every dog, every love, every object and every experience is essential to making you what you are today.  And remembering them or not is not as important as what you have become.  But there's no harm in looking back, either...

   Oh, my friend also mentioned that after reading this blog, trying to make a comment, good bad or indifferent, was difficult for him for (like me) he didn't have Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or Tellem.  And if you know me at all, I do appreciate any criticisms, suggestions or corrections (indeed, several authors and one scientist suggested a few corrections, one being that MRIs have no radiation effect, something generated by CT scans).  And if you would like to make a comment, simply go to the bottom of the post and click on where it says "NO COMMENT" and a box to voice your opinion will appear.  Hmmm, I guess it makes sense in the Google world...sort of like understanding depression.