Obsession and Love

Obsession and Love

    Walking though a book store in Amsterdam proved an interesting stoll.  For one, it was an all-English bookstore, this in a place where English is likely the third or fourth language.  And second, everything in the store, from hardcover to softcover, cost 5 euro.  Most all of the titles were there (the owner told me that they primarily buy remainders and unsold titles in bulk, from Steven King to Lee Child, as well as a host of non-fiction) and the selection went from photography to cooking, and from Game of Thrones to Prime Suspect.  But what was even more striking to me was the number of titles, each stack carefully laid out, not only on the floor to ceiling shelves, but on the floor as well.  Paths were carefully constructed and the books were quite orderly in how they were presented.

     So what's the big deal?  Books are books and bookstores are pretty much everywhere.  And so are games (electronic and otherwise), and so are music stores (albeit, diminishing in number) and libraries.  But looking back, these stores and libraries are displaying only the books and music and games that have been published...or perhaps I should say, published and promoted (for you can go to a site such as Daedalus and find even more "published" books and discs that just never made the sales quota and are thus discounted by up to 90%).  But just beyond that horizon are countless authors and songwriters and artists diligently working and writing and singing and painting and creating, hoping sometimes against hope that their work will get recognized and they can "make" a living doing what they love.  Even --gasp-- people doing blogs.

    There are many great blogs out there, and many great singers.  Many of us have gone to a club or show somewhere and heard a voice so striking that we wondered why in the world they hadn't been "discovered."  A side show in Vegas or a band in your own city, doomed to matinees and dingy dark hours of play.  Some will write and play and make until time or money becomes a constraint; family matters pull and other things become more important.  But not everyone.  Some will ignore the signs and become almost overly devoted.  This was the subject of a book on obsessive altruism titled Strangers Drowning by Larissa MacFarquhar.  Here's what reviewer Marjorie Cunningham wrote on Amazon about the book: This non-fiction book takes an in-depth look at what motivates “do-gooders”, those who are extremely committed to helping others, often at the expense of their own loved ones.  It’s an ambitious work and is broken down into chapters telling true stories of do-gooders, like the woman in her 80’s, who after a lifelong commitment to nursing others, begins to teach midwives and the man who donates his kidney to a stranger, along with the history of completely unselfish people and society’s perception of them through the years...The books starts off with the thought experiment of whether you should save your mother drowning or two strangers.  What number of strangers that you could save would it take to leave your mother to drown?  Would two be enough or would it take twenty or twenty thousand?  Or would you save your mother no matter how many other lives could be saved instead?...While everyone knows there are thousands of people in the world who are starving or dying, life would be intolerable if we cared about each of those people the way we care for our family members.  How would we face each day?  Should you feel guilty if you spend money to go to a movie when that money might have helped a starving child?  When a person is a truly committed do-gooder, their survival and needs are secondary to those of others.  Their own needs feel like selfishness and there is no room for wants or desires.

3-D Chalk Art by Bosnian artist Kerim Musanovic

     Admittedly, I skimmed this book.  For me, even though the book received excellent reviews, the stories seemed a bit, well, obsessive.  As giving as everyone appeared, it became a series of those cat-lady tales where an elderly woman is found in ailing health in her trailer, surrounded by 80 cats, most uncared for.  But the book did highlight giving of another sort, that of people simply doing what they love.  Just one example appeared in Sarasota, Florida recently (featured in a story in Smithsonian), chalk artists plying their trade on an abandoned stretch of asphalt (look closely at the photo and you can see that this is an old and cracked road).  It was just one example of artists just doing what they loved, giving the rest of us a chance to see pure talent.  Yes, the chalk would blow away or wash away with the next rain, much as those Tibetan monks doing their sand art, a group effort taking months and months, only to have it all blended away into nothingness once finished, their way of showing the impermanence of life.

    There is much out there, and many are giving and giving silently.  "What is a good life?," asked the Buddhist monk and author, Matthieu Ricard in his book, Altruism.  Wrote a reviewer in the Christian Science Monitor: Well known for the generosity of its welfare state, Europe is feeling a fair share of 'compassion fatigue' these days as a result of three crises on its doorstep.... Europe's current hand-wringing is, at heart, a lesson about its giving spirit.... In a new book entitled Altruism, French thinker Matthieu Ricard makes a case for acknowledging what he calls the 'banality of good,' or recognizing that behavior such as generosity is commonplace and punctuates the daily lives of people.  The book is a timely message as Europe struggles with these big decisions.

    For me, this writing somewhat clears my head, allowing me to put thoughts or views down on "paper," and thus freeing space, if you like, for other ideas and input.  Sometimes, freeing the clutter is all one needs, whether spending hours on a painting or singing horribly at a karaoke night. "I just love to sing," one (unfortunately terrible) singer told me at such a night...but he was so happy.  Readers or listeners or viewers or even pats on the back...it's nice, but truth is (as many of you well know), it's not what keeps you going.  It is the love for what you do, whether that is gardening or watching football, watching over your children or putting chalk art on an old road.  All of it makes the world a better place, for who isn't attracted to someone doing what he or she loves...it's what we all really want, to find something that we really enjoying doing.  Nonetheless, to all of you reading this, whether you have just started or have been there all along, I am indeed honored and pleased.  And to you, my "audience," I give you my thanks, and my wishes that you are also doing something that frees your mind, that gives of yourself and gives to others and the world, and most importantly, is something that you truly love.