Skunked

Skunked  

    It's an old term meaning to not score or to end up aced out and left with nothing on the board.  But of course, one only has to hear the word skunk and an immediate and entirely new visual pops up...animal, black and white stripes and smelly (or about to be).  Once thought to be part of the weasel family, skunks now stand on their own genetically and come in brown and cream colors as well as others having spots or multiple stripes.  But whether it's a 1-pound skunk or an 18-pound skunk (yes, the varieties come in all weights as well), you'll know when it's a skunk, sort of like you'll know when it's a rattlesnake.  On reading about them in Wikipedia and other sites, it was suggested that a good method of avoiding being sprayed by a skunk is to simply stand still (turns out that skunks really don't want to use up this precious chemical defense unless absolutely necessary for after about ten sprays they'll basically be out and will have to wait over a week to "refill")...and I can testify to this method of passivity working. 

Photo from the humane site, Havahart;

    Some decades ago when I was younger and much more solo-adventurous, I volunteered to help the Forest Service clear out a portion of the wildfire damage that had hit the Klamath area near the California-Oregon border.  I was placed with a group of supervised young adults, all members of the California Conservation Corps, a state-sponsored work program for adults (ages 18 to  25, although most of group I worked with then appeared to be teenagers) who go to these "camps" and pretty much get put to work outdoors (the slogan of the CCC is: Hard work, low pay, miserable conditions ... and more!).  Being paid minimum wages, it was indeed tough work and many seemed less-enthused than I did at being there, many of them perking up only when the bus arrived at the end of the week to take them back to their housing and away from this job of cutting down trees and clearing trails and roads for the logging trucks, which left...me.  It was a large camp, tents erected that would each hold 20 or more people; the pantry was fully stocked and the well-equipped kitchen (in a tent also) was fully operational (the cold night temps found me turning on the gas burners of the stoves to get some warmth).  So here I was, trusted to lock up and spend the night in this outdoor complex and to hopefully be gone before the rangers arrived in the morning.  Huddled in the warm kitchen, I was hesitant to move over to the lonely and rather large and cold housing tent, but that was where all of my camping gear was, including my sleeping bag, so I locked the pantry and kitchen doors (a must since raccoons were everywhere jumping up and knocking off trashcan lids with their snouts then diving in then just as easily jumping out...the real threat however was the occasional bear, the main dumpsters in back thoroughly locked with a securing bar; but let's face it, the fact that bears were even present was just another reason I was a bit hesitant to move out to that unlockable, loose-flapped canvas tent which was to be my sleeping quarters).  But move I did, and almost as quickly jumped into my bag and fell asleep; I was tired.  But as tired as I was, I was easily awakened some hours later when I felt the thud.  Those of you who have cats as pets know "the thud," that unexpected middle-of-the-night jump onto your belly which wakes you up.  But this wasn't a cat, not out here in the wilds where things truly boiled down to just predator or prey.  Then I heard the sniffing, loud, as loud a sound as you can make if you were trying to exaggerate your own impression of sniffing.  What the heck?  I was frozen...take a look, my mind said; don't move, said my body.  And like a nightmare dream where you're stuck in molasses, my body stayed still.  The sniffing grew louder, the movement across my stomach now onto my chest and steadily moving further up.  My eyes wanted to open but my body seemed paralyzed.  Whatever it was, it was moving closer and closer across the top of my body.  Then I felt it, the snout or wet nose or something actually touching my face, the sniffing right there as if to say "whatever you are, wake up!"  I opened one eye, then the other.  It was a skunk...right there in my face.  Rabies?  Was I about to be bitten or was I about to escape with just a full frontal spray?  I was beyond paralyzed, or so it seemed.  And then, apparently quite bored with me, the skunk just jumped off and sauntered out of the tent without so much as a lifted tail to say goodbye.  Why, the nerve?  But the truly amazing part?...I fell back asleep. 

    Dogs, of course, know no such thing as standing still.  At 4:30 in the morning my dog heard something outside and was scratching at the door to go out (in our defense, usually this scratching means that our dogs have to pee and not to go after some stray critter to inept burglar).  So out the door our dog bolted, straight for the back fence, only this time there wasn't the usual barking, just silence and a lot of rustling around. Some minutes passed then our dog (the other dog inside was the injured one so no chasing anything for her) came excitedly back...or was it came sheepishly back?  At that hour of the morning it was difficult to tell.  Just get back in, I thought so I could go back to sleep.  And then came the smell.  For you chemistry majors, here's one breakdown from Humboldt State University in Arcata (great place to view ancient redwood trees); but basically it sulphur.  Thiols and mercaptans (that smell in your urine after eating asparagus?...that's mercaptans at work).  Distantly related this skunk smell and that converted asparagus...but close enough.  Which is why tomato juice won't take away that smell...the chemical bond has to be just right.  So here's the solution from the University of Nebraska as originally developed by chemist Paul Krebaum: Mix together: 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide (fresh bottle), ¼ cup of baking soda (sodium bicarbonate), and 1-2 teaspoons of liquid dish soap...Ingredients must be mixed in an open container and used immediately.  Never mix the ingredients in advance because oxygen released from the solution may cause a closed container to explode.  The solution can be used on people or pets;avoid splashing the product in the eyes or mouth.  Allow the solution to remain in hair for five minutes before rinsing with water. Repeat as needed.

    Skunks can only see about 10 feet in front of them (their smell and hearing are exceptional, however)...but their spray can go about the same distance, and is unusually accurate.  And now that I think about it, that dang skunk that jumped on me was actually pretty darn cute.  And skunks eat bees (among other things including snakes...but their diet is mostly grubs, beetles, worms and such).  Heck, maybe skunks are just getting a bad rap.  Maybe...just try telling that to my dog.