Being Your (Older) Self

   When I was younger (which is a ways back) I would work my age in elevens, doubling them as a check to see about where I was in life.  So at 22, I could double that and hit age 44 which was quite reasonable.  At 33 I could still easily picture myself at 66.  And at 44 the possibility was still there (to hit 88).  But when 55 came, well, the odds got a bit more difficult; the oldest woman in the world* just turned 117 so it was possible but in all honesty not probable.  And in case you're wondering, I haven't hit the next multiple but doubling 66 would pretty much send me into the record books so I may as well quit that horrid math exercise.  In a recent interview with Dr. Phil McGraw he mentioned that one of his friends told him to place a tape measure on the floor and have each 12-inch mark represent 10 years of his life with the measure stopping at a point where he would reasonably expect for his lifespan; so if you're doing this, the six-foot point on the measure would represent 60 years of life.  He was told to then stand next to measure at where he now was in years (he's 66), and when he did so it became clear to him that there was only a little tape left in front of him with a heck of a lot of tape already behind him.

Actress Sharon Stone, 58; Photo AARP

   None of us ever usually "feel" that we're getting older but such exercises can give one a shot of reality that time is indeed marching on.  But it has done so throughout history and perspective is just that, how we perceive our walk through this life.  As Dr. Phil McGraw said of the exercise, it made him realize that he'd better get on with what he wanted to do with what time he had left; where did he want to go from here? For actress Sharon Stone, two of those years of her life vanished after a massive stroke and cerebral hemorrhage; as she told AARP (yes, that magazine for us older folk): What's the big deal?  I'm 58.  I also have green eyes.  So what?...I don't think we have to accept the assignment of aging, that all of a sudden you're supposed to be dowdy, with a really bad hairdo and wear Easter candy-colored clothes...I've stopped questioning everything, and that gives me a lot more room to breathe.  I think it's just getting comfortable in yourself -- in everything.  "Age is irrelevant," said Frances Hesselbeing, president and CEO of the leadership institute that has help train nonprofit leaders for over 50 years.  "It's what we do with our lives that counts."  Frances' age?...100.

   Okay, there's that age group, the group standing near the end of that age "tape" and perhaps thinking about what may or may not await them, be it many years or just a precious few.  But in the same magazine, there were featured people of other ages such as Kenneth Shinozuka who at 15 wondered if there was a way to make it safer for seniors who might wander off due to the effects of Alzheimer's.  He created SafeWander, an alarm sensor that is small enough to be placed on a piece of clothing and alerts others when the person in question moves or gets up.  Said Shinosuka, "Owning your age is to act as if you didn't have any age."  Or Aria Finger, the 33-year old CEO of DoSomething.org who realized that many young people wanted to help others and to fight for social justice in many areas (she now has 5.5 million members).  Or Howard Tishcler, 62, who saw his mom get financially scammed and decided to create Eversafe, a service that scans and protects the financial accounts of seniors who might be getting a bit less watchful of their bank acoounts and investments. 

   In other words, as Colonel Frederick Lough (who at 67 rejoined the Army to help train the next generation of military surgeons) told the magazine, "You need to repot yourself somehow.  Change is threatening but it's also how we grow."  Picture the headline of current issue of This Old House: Help Wanted: We're Looking for the Next Generation of Skilled Craftsmen.  With the holiday bustle and world events threatening to sweep us up into a frenzy, we might be tempted to step on that age tape and look back at our lives, or to look forward as to what's ahead in our lives...or we might just want to look straight down at where we are right now...the present moment.  In an excellent TED Talk, Intensive Care Specialist Dr. Peter Saul quoted Dame Cicely Saunders (the founder of  Hospice): You matter because you are, and you matter to the last moment of your life.  

   Here's how former President Jimmy Carter put it: Earlier in my life I thought the things that mattered were the things that you could see, like your car, your house, your wealth, your property, your office.  But as I've grown older I've become convinced that the things that matter most are the things that you can't see -- the love you share with others, your inner purpose, your comfort with who you are...I have one life and one chance to make it count for something...I'm free to choose what that something is, and the something I've chosen is my faith.  Now, my faith goes beyond theology and religion and requires considerable work and effort.  My faith demands --this is not optional-- my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference. 

   Age doesn't matter; it is indeed a state of mind.  Just ask Emma Morano who at 117 years young was noted in the NY Times as watching "...Italy evolve from a monarchy to a republic that spawned nearly 70 governments in seven decades, with a 20-year foray into Fascism in the middle."  Said the piece: Ask her about Mussolini, or the world wars or any number of current or past political figures, and she shrugs indifferently.  Her recollections are mostly intimate.  “My sisters and I loved to dance and we’d run away to the dance hall and then our mother would come looking for us with a birch stick,” she recalled recently.  And her secret to long life?...eat three raw eggs a day and remain single.  Or perhaps something as simple as loving life.