(White) Man Up
Viewing some of the comments from earlier posts, I find it both fascinating and disheartening to realize that many of my views have parted ways with that of the younger generation. Of course, this is a generalization because each of us, regardless of age, have our own views even among friends; but a surprising example of this gap was a 2018 poll of 1000 ten-to-nineteen-year olds conducted by the firm PerryUndem and noted in the new book by Peggy Orenstein, Boys & Sex: One third said they felt compelled to suppress their feelings, to "suck it up" or "be a man" when they were sad or scared, and more than 40 percent said that when they were angry, society expected them to be combative. In another survey, which compared young men from the U.S., the U.K., and Mexico, Americans reported more social pressure to be ever-ready for sex and to get with as many women as possible; they also acknowledged more stigma against homosexuality, and they received more messages that they should control their female partners, as in: Men "deserve to know" the whereabouts of their girlfriends or wives at all times. Such attitudes may hark back to my parent's generation (the post-war 50s) but here's where the polling became somewhat depressing for me: When asked what traits society values most in boys, only 2 percent of male respondents in the PerryUndem survey said honesty and morality, and only 8 percent said leadership skills...The disturbing thing for me was that while the first portion of that survey showed attitudes from decades ago, the second part (the drop in honesty and morality) was something new. It wasn't that long ago when the ultra-conservative (at least by the standards of his era, although he liked to consider himself more of a libertarian), the late William Buckley said on his opposition to the Voting Rights Act*: ...the White community in the South is entitled to take such measures as are necessary to prevail, politically and culturally, in areas in which it does not predominate numerically.
At times it is difficult to fathom the circle of history repeating itself, particularly here in the U.S. where the two main political parties have basically done a 180 "switch" in their views; a Democrat or Republican in the late-1800s would be appalled with their party's values now. The polarization and divides we're experiencing still ebb and flow as wildly now as they did back then. I thought of this when looking back over my friends and family, those whom I've had a chance to reflect on over the course of decades. Life had moved on for all of us and could be graphed as the neck of a snake that had swallowed a large meal, together in a straight line then wildly apart then back in a straight line. And all of it happened without us noticing. Perhaps it takes a major point in history to show us this, whether it's a pathogen or a financial crisis or a war. Admittedly, some of my friends have taken nearly opposite views of mine (one is really into conspiracy theories,** even fearing that any new corona virus vaccine will have tracking devices in them so that we can be monitored), some being are quite adamant as if ready to escalate a discussion into an argument. I'm not sure why I've been fortunate enough to be able to easily slough off the occasional bits of gravel that may hit my windshield on this road of life. Perhaps I've been lucky or just naïve, or now just older and recognizing that life is too short to be worried about such things. Certainly kudos to those investigative journalists and journalists actually exposing wrongdoings; but with this recent viral threat to human life, I would have thought that there would be a little less bickering about taking political sdes or wondering how to make more money. But that's me, still as surprised about our country's (and perhaps humanity's) views as I was about that recent, albeit limited, poll of young teens.
Certainly I could direct you to places that let you read or hear about some the injustices this virus is causing, how some politicians are capitalizing on this event to make money through their "leadership PACs" and thus able to legally use such donations to go on fancy vacations or live elaborate lifestyles, said The New York Review of Books (said the piece, "Ninety-four percent of GOP House members have leadership PACs..."). Or I can have you listen to Fresh Air and hear how this new "stimulus" bill has basically set aside $135 billion of those trillions of dollars for those who make over $500,000 annually. Or have you peek into the piece titled How America Ends in The Atlantic. Insightful and perhaps inciteful as well. But instead I'd rather have you read the words of Wren Fialka who told High Country News: I think, right now, unity and compassion are more important than ever. It’s never been a more perfect time for the expression ‘better safe than sorry.’ Because looking back on this time, after we get through this first part, asking that question of your future self: What did you do during this time, and can you be proud of that answer? Did you think past your own needs? Did you act with courage and compassion to other people? This view was echoed by a few of the people interviewed on a recent episode of 60 Minutes. Small 1600-acre farmers and ranchers told of struggling while corporate farmers received huge payouts, average people told of still waiting for a check (ironically, my deceased mother was issued a stimulus check, even though the word "deceased" followed her name on the check). So that difficulty of keeping up a good attitude, of letting those inequities not get to you, is difficult, perhaps at times overwhelming. Here was another similar view from The New Yorker: As the wise wisely instruct us to count our blessings—which I do—I also can’t help but wonder how to sustain this sense of gratitude through the undulations of daily domestic life when so many of our homes balloon not only with love and recognition but also with stress, turbulence, even violence, from forces within and without. If this question is rhetorical, it’s because I don’t want anyone—including myself—to feel that they’re doing kinship wrong if and when it hurts. Today, for me, it hurts. It is sweet, and it hurts.
Krista Tippet may have put it better in her reflection from her On Being podcast: I always cite my friend, the Rev. Jen Bailey, for reminding me of this: that in the original Greek, apocalypse doesn’t mean the catastrophe; it means the uncovering. And this crisis, this virus, is uncovering a lot of things. It’s uncovering kindness and generosity. It’s uncovering things that we didn’t know we knew how to do, like cook and clean and be quiet and stay at home. It’s uncovering our physical frailty; we’ve had so many devices to convince ourselves that it’s not as true as it always is. And it’s uncovered all these holes and flaws and gaps in the web of our relationship to each other and how we have not structured our society around that...transitions are the hardest things in human life. They are the most stressful experiences. Moving is one of the most stressful life experiences, biologically, physiologically, psychologically. And there’s a way in which, right now, we are all, together, moving from one reality to another that we can’t see. And so part of the work, the calling now, I think, is to stand really respectfully before how very unsettling and stressful this is...I talked about the importance of kindness to ourselves. I think that actually bears repeating every single day, every single week, knowing that this is this incredible transition; that that is the most stressful thing. And yet, I do actually think many of us --most of us, I hope all of us-- experiencing the fact that we are in this together is itself an incredible moment of growth and learning. It doesn’t take the stress away. But I do think it has a power to transform it, at least in moments.
For most of us, we may never awaken to find ourselves in an ICU; we don't plan an accident or a heart attack or a brain bleed. Besides, we figure, a quick call to emergency, the arrival of paramedics or an ambulance, a quick scan and exam and we'll be okay. Nothing major, no worries. But this new virus has brought ICUs into our line of sight almost daily. So this emerged from the London Review of Books: Hospital wards can be divided roughly into intensive care units, high dependency units and general wards. Intensive care is used for the most seriously ill, in particular those who need advanced support to breathe or those with two or more organ failures. Patients who need less significant respiratory support or help for only one organ system may be placed in a high dependency unit instead. An ICU is staffed by doctors who have trained in intensive care and anaesthetics as well as by specialised nurses...Most patients admitted to an ICU with Covid-19 will have respiratory failure caused by pneumonia and an acute immune response, sometimes in combination with heart failure or kidney failure. There is no treatment, only supportive measures. Intubation allows us to keep the airway open for a ventilator: a plastic endotracheal tube (ET tube) is inserted through the mouth or nose into the windpipe while the ventilator, which uses air or oxygen, pressurises the lungs to ensure that the narrow airways don’t collapse. Any new ICU bed will need not only these ventilators but oxygen and air plumbing too...Patients with respiratory illnesses often need the secretions in their upper airways and mouth to be removed with suction, usually in conjunction with specialist physiotherapy. In intensive care units patients have continuous monitoring of their heart rate, blood pressure, oxygenation of the blood, breaths per minute, exhaled carbon dioxide levels and temperature. A machine displaying most of this information stands at the bedside, alongside numerous infusion pumps that provide medicine directly via an IV drip. You need a good electrical supply with lots of sockets for all this equipment; even the bed needs to be plugged in so you can nurse patients in different positions...There are other logistics to consider. Secure and well-stocked drug rooms are required; a huge range of drugs is used in the most complex cases, including those critical to maintaining blood pressure, in addition to more common drugs such as antibiotics (for those with a bacterial infection on top of Covid-19), sedation, pain relief and fluids. The facility will also need to be able to run blood tests; most ICU patients require regular ‘blood gases’, which are run on a machine in the unit (rather than sent to the lab), giving results within minutes. Other blood tests will have to go to a lab and doctors will want results within an hour. There needs to be a portable X-ray machine to assess the lungs and check whether ET tubes and lines are in the correct position. And so radiographers have to be on hand to perform the X-rays, as well as porters to fetch and carry blood samples, and technicians to run the lab. It has to be possible to support any other organs that are failing; in the case of the heart this might mean medication such as inotropes (which increase the heart’s ability to contract) and if the kidneys are failing a dialysis machine. In other words, it's complicated (the author goes on to add this: "In Italy the worst-hit hospitals have enforced a cut-off age of 65 for intensive care treatment." -- gulp!).
Editor Stephen Orr of Better Homes & Gardens wrote: Lately I find myself looking for other ways to slow things down. I'm tired of reading only tweets and Instagram captions. Of reading only the headlines on my phone. Of watching TikTok-style videos. Of drive-throughs. Of food deliveries. Of express checkouts. Of the constant rush of everything toward...what? What are we using all those saved minutes for? I am trying to read more books and long-form magazine pieces on paper to retrain my brain too stroll and saunter, not skip like a rock over the surface of a lake. And a half hour of quality time shopping at the grocery store, reading nutrition labels and idly browsing, is one of my favorite ways to enjoy one of life's greatest luxury -- time. Despite all of this back and forth --this worrying about why some are wanting more while others are just wanting, period; this "my side is right and yours is wrong" thing (at least for now); this wondering if you or your neighbor or your country will survive; this blast of online videos and commentary seeking your eyes and wallets, much of it directed at retirees; this time when even a commentator from China in the London Review of Books questioned our values in the U.S. when he wrote: How do you defend a system that gives power to a celebrity with no knowledge of international relations who filed for corporate bankruptcy half a dozen times?-- at these times, I prefer to harken back to a brighter side, such as the uplifting video on You Tube which talks of our "great realization." Somehow it is my feeling that if any of us are ever finding ourselves groggy and slowly waking up in an ICU, all of this bickering and right-wrong dialogue will disappear as easily as mist; and as it disappears we may begin to see some clarity of what matters overall...
*In 1965, blacks --and generally only blacks in the South-- were given unnecessary "tests" before being allowed to vote, tests such as being made to recite the entire text of the Constitution from memory or having to solve literacy problems. White voters were not given such tests. Resisting such tests often meant physical altercations, some of them quite severe and in many cases, captured by television crews. Failing such "tests' meant being denied the ability to vote. Once the Act was passed, voting among blacks in Mississippi alone jumped from 6% to 59% in five years. Today, voter suppression still exists among minorities with reduced numbers of polling stations or fighting to prevent mail-in voting. As to changing, or in some cases not changing views, I again recommend you view the movie Just Mercy, which is based on true (and on-going) events...
**When Facebook instituted new algorithms that blocked or deleted inflammatory or highly inaccurate information, 70% of such traffic stopped, a figure that surprised even Facebook.
At times it is difficult to fathom the circle of history repeating itself, particularly here in the U.S. where the two main political parties have basically done a 180 "switch" in their views; a Democrat or Republican in the late-1800s would be appalled with their party's values now. The polarization and divides we're experiencing still ebb and flow as wildly now as they did back then. I thought of this when looking back over my friends and family, those whom I've had a chance to reflect on over the course of decades. Life had moved on for all of us and could be graphed as the neck of a snake that had swallowed a large meal, together in a straight line then wildly apart then back in a straight line. And all of it happened without us noticing. Perhaps it takes a major point in history to show us this, whether it's a pathogen or a financial crisis or a war. Admittedly, some of my friends have taken nearly opposite views of mine (one is really into conspiracy theories,** even fearing that any new corona virus vaccine will have tracking devices in them so that we can be monitored), some being are quite adamant as if ready to escalate a discussion into an argument. I'm not sure why I've been fortunate enough to be able to easily slough off the occasional bits of gravel that may hit my windshield on this road of life. Perhaps I've been lucky or just naïve, or now just older and recognizing that life is too short to be worried about such things. Certainly kudos to those investigative journalists and journalists actually exposing wrongdoings; but with this recent viral threat to human life, I would have thought that there would be a little less bickering about taking political sdes or wondering how to make more money. But that's me, still as surprised about our country's (and perhaps humanity's) views as I was about that recent, albeit limited, poll of young teens.
Certainly I could direct you to places that let you read or hear about some the injustices this virus is causing, how some politicians are capitalizing on this event to make money through their "leadership PACs" and thus able to legally use such donations to go on fancy vacations or live elaborate lifestyles, said The New York Review of Books (said the piece, "Ninety-four percent of GOP House members have leadership PACs..."). Or I can have you listen to Fresh Air and hear how this new "stimulus" bill has basically set aside $135 billion of those trillions of dollars for those who make over $500,000 annually. Or have you peek into the piece titled How America Ends in The Atlantic. Insightful and perhaps inciteful as well. But instead I'd rather have you read the words of Wren Fialka who told High Country News: I think, right now, unity and compassion are more important than ever. It’s never been a more perfect time for the expression ‘better safe than sorry.’ Because looking back on this time, after we get through this first part, asking that question of your future self: What did you do during this time, and can you be proud of that answer? Did you think past your own needs? Did you act with courage and compassion to other people? This view was echoed by a few of the people interviewed on a recent episode of 60 Minutes. Small 1600-acre farmers and ranchers told of struggling while corporate farmers received huge payouts, average people told of still waiting for a check (ironically, my deceased mother was issued a stimulus check, even though the word "deceased" followed her name on the check). So that difficulty of keeping up a good attitude, of letting those inequities not get to you, is difficult, perhaps at times overwhelming. Here was another similar view from The New Yorker: As the wise wisely instruct us to count our blessings—which I do—I also can’t help but wonder how to sustain this sense of gratitude through the undulations of daily domestic life when so many of our homes balloon not only with love and recognition but also with stress, turbulence, even violence, from forces within and without. If this question is rhetorical, it’s because I don’t want anyone—including myself—to feel that they’re doing kinship wrong if and when it hurts. Today, for me, it hurts. It is sweet, and it hurts.
Krista Tippet may have put it better in her reflection from her On Being podcast: I always cite my friend, the Rev. Jen Bailey, for reminding me of this: that in the original Greek, apocalypse doesn’t mean the catastrophe; it means the uncovering. And this crisis, this virus, is uncovering a lot of things. It’s uncovering kindness and generosity. It’s uncovering things that we didn’t know we knew how to do, like cook and clean and be quiet and stay at home. It’s uncovering our physical frailty; we’ve had so many devices to convince ourselves that it’s not as true as it always is. And it’s uncovered all these holes and flaws and gaps in the web of our relationship to each other and how we have not structured our society around that...transitions are the hardest things in human life. They are the most stressful experiences. Moving is one of the most stressful life experiences, biologically, physiologically, psychologically. And there’s a way in which, right now, we are all, together, moving from one reality to another that we can’t see. And so part of the work, the calling now, I think, is to stand really respectfully before how very unsettling and stressful this is...I talked about the importance of kindness to ourselves. I think that actually bears repeating every single day, every single week, knowing that this is this incredible transition; that that is the most stressful thing. And yet, I do actually think many of us --most of us, I hope all of us-- experiencing the fact that we are in this together is itself an incredible moment of growth and learning. It doesn’t take the stress away. But I do think it has a power to transform it, at least in moments.
For most of us, we may never awaken to find ourselves in an ICU; we don't plan an accident or a heart attack or a brain bleed. Besides, we figure, a quick call to emergency, the arrival of paramedics or an ambulance, a quick scan and exam and we'll be okay. Nothing major, no worries. But this new virus has brought ICUs into our line of sight almost daily. So this emerged from the London Review of Books: Hospital wards can be divided roughly into intensive care units, high dependency units and general wards. Intensive care is used for the most seriously ill, in particular those who need advanced support to breathe or those with two or more organ failures. Patients who need less significant respiratory support or help for only one organ system may be placed in a high dependency unit instead. An ICU is staffed by doctors who have trained in intensive care and anaesthetics as well as by specialised nurses...Most patients admitted to an ICU with Covid-19 will have respiratory failure caused by pneumonia and an acute immune response, sometimes in combination with heart failure or kidney failure. There is no treatment, only supportive measures. Intubation allows us to keep the airway open for a ventilator: a plastic endotracheal tube (ET tube) is inserted through the mouth or nose into the windpipe while the ventilator, which uses air or oxygen, pressurises the lungs to ensure that the narrow airways don’t collapse. Any new ICU bed will need not only these ventilators but oxygen and air plumbing too...Patients with respiratory illnesses often need the secretions in their upper airways and mouth to be removed with suction, usually in conjunction with specialist physiotherapy. In intensive care units patients have continuous monitoring of their heart rate, blood pressure, oxygenation of the blood, breaths per minute, exhaled carbon dioxide levels and temperature. A machine displaying most of this information stands at the bedside, alongside numerous infusion pumps that provide medicine directly via an IV drip. You need a good electrical supply with lots of sockets for all this equipment; even the bed needs to be plugged in so you can nurse patients in different positions...There are other logistics to consider. Secure and well-stocked drug rooms are required; a huge range of drugs is used in the most complex cases, including those critical to maintaining blood pressure, in addition to more common drugs such as antibiotics (for those with a bacterial infection on top of Covid-19), sedation, pain relief and fluids. The facility will also need to be able to run blood tests; most ICU patients require regular ‘blood gases’, which are run on a machine in the unit (rather than sent to the lab), giving results within minutes. Other blood tests will have to go to a lab and doctors will want results within an hour. There needs to be a portable X-ray machine to assess the lungs and check whether ET tubes and lines are in the correct position. And so radiographers have to be on hand to perform the X-rays, as well as porters to fetch and carry blood samples, and technicians to run the lab. It has to be possible to support any other organs that are failing; in the case of the heart this might mean medication such as inotropes (which increase the heart’s ability to contract) and if the kidneys are failing a dialysis machine. In other words, it's complicated (the author goes on to add this: "In Italy the worst-hit hospitals have enforced a cut-off age of 65 for intensive care treatment." -- gulp!).
Editor Stephen Orr of Better Homes & Gardens wrote: Lately I find myself looking for other ways to slow things down. I'm tired of reading only tweets and Instagram captions. Of reading only the headlines on my phone. Of watching TikTok-style videos. Of drive-throughs. Of food deliveries. Of express checkouts. Of the constant rush of everything toward...what? What are we using all those saved minutes for? I am trying to read more books and long-form magazine pieces on paper to retrain my brain too stroll and saunter, not skip like a rock over the surface of a lake. And a half hour of quality time shopping at the grocery store, reading nutrition labels and idly browsing, is one of my favorite ways to enjoy one of life's greatest luxury -- time. Despite all of this back and forth --this worrying about why some are wanting more while others are just wanting, period; this "my side is right and yours is wrong" thing (at least for now); this wondering if you or your neighbor or your country will survive; this blast of online videos and commentary seeking your eyes and wallets, much of it directed at retirees; this time when even a commentator from China in the London Review of Books questioned our values in the U.S. when he wrote: How do you defend a system that gives power to a celebrity with no knowledge of international relations who filed for corporate bankruptcy half a dozen times?-- at these times, I prefer to harken back to a brighter side, such as the uplifting video on You Tube which talks of our "great realization." Somehow it is my feeling that if any of us are ever finding ourselves groggy and slowly waking up in an ICU, all of this bickering and right-wrong dialogue will disappear as easily as mist; and as it disappears we may begin to see some clarity of what matters overall...
*In 1965, blacks --and generally only blacks in the South-- were given unnecessary "tests" before being allowed to vote, tests such as being made to recite the entire text of the Constitution from memory or having to solve literacy problems. White voters were not given such tests. Resisting such tests often meant physical altercations, some of them quite severe and in many cases, captured by television crews. Failing such "tests' meant being denied the ability to vote. Once the Act was passed, voting among blacks in Mississippi alone jumped from 6% to 59% in five years. Today, voter suppression still exists among minorities with reduced numbers of polling stations or fighting to prevent mail-in voting. As to changing, or in some cases not changing views, I again recommend you view the movie Just Mercy, which is based on true (and on-going) events...
**When Facebook instituted new algorithms that blocked or deleted inflammatory or highly inaccurate information, 70% of such traffic stopped, a figure that surprised even Facebook.
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