Young and Old

Young and Old

    The other day, my mother-in-law turned 86 and we celebrated by having her favorite dinner (fajitas with extra shrimp at a restaurant), having a piece of cake, watching an old John Denver concert (filmed in Japan in 1981), playing cards, and doing a lot of talking.  "You're 60s are great," she said, "and so are your 70s.  It's when you hit your 80s that you really notice."  As you already know, my own mother just passed 90.  So what is that like, reaching the ages of 80 and 90?  As comedian Lewis Black so colorfully put it, "You're young, you're young, you're young, and then you're #%$# old!"  And I wondered...is that how we'll all feel, should we be so lucky to get that far?

    Yes, I've written about aging in earlier posts, especially about feeling immortal while you're young, which can be felt at any age, really.  You're only as old as you feel, we're told.  But there is a point where you're physical body begins to say enough is enough.  Knees and memories and muscles, sometimes even hearts, begin to tire and tell you, stop already or slow down.  One has to just look at an aging actor or actress on the big screen (or the 4k televisions) and think, they've sure gotten older (as if we ourselves haven't moved in time).  Pick up a picture of yourself when you were younger and it only brings about a chuckle...yes, that was me but funny thing is, I don't feel any older.

    It's a universal denial of sorts, that is, until we reach the point where we make the decision...I'm old.  And everyone reaches that point at their own pace.  If you're healthy and still exercising vigorously, you might extend your timeline much further than someone who is much younger but  racked with disease or a genetic ailment, or suddenly immobile from an accident.  But there's no denying that overall, a good portion of the world is aging, and feeling it, as noted in the most recent issue of Discover magazine: With roughly 10,000 baby boomers turning 65 in the U.S. every day, the “silver tsunami” is predicted to raise the national health care bill to $4 trillion in 2030.  Globally, the 65-plus demographic is estimated to triple from 524 million in 2010 to about 1.5 billion by 2050.   As expected, says the article: Engaging in physical activity for 2.5 hours at a moderate intensity (or 75 minutes at a vigorous intensity) each week can increase your life expectancy by 3.4 years.  Choose to do only half that amount, and you'll still add 1.8 years to your life.  But there were a few surprises, as in a study by Luigi Ferrucci at the Baltimore Longitudinal Study on Aging: "...an analysis of long-term data from the BLSA discovered that an adult's personality generally doesn't change much after age 30.  In fact, people who are happy when they're younger are likelier to be the same when they're much older."...It turns out that "grumpy old men" --or women, for that matter--- may be gruff not because of age, but because they're set in a personality shaped by their youth during times when war, poverty and other harsh experiences were more common.  "It also suggests that significant changes in personality may not be due to aging," says Ferrucci, "but could be a sign of disease or dementia instead."

    Stanley Bing, the executive Andy Rooney/Jimmy Fallon/Amy Schumer summed up the aging thing in his scribe to those achievers under 40, so celebrated in the recent issue of Fortune's 40 Under 40 issue: Being under 40, although it presents its own challenges, is also quite wonderful compared with other  options.  For men, it means that whatever your hair has done so far, it’s not as bad as it’s going to get.  The women in this group are also likely to look and feel pretty good compared with their projected status in a couple of decades...There’s also the fact that when you are not yet 40, you can still tell yourself a whole lot of nice things about your future prospects and still believe some of it.  If things are going well, you can legitimately think that things are going to get even better.  If they’re not, there’s still time to read a host of inspirational, religious, and/or business books and change your game.  That’s completely different from being under, say, 50, which is not the new 40, no matter what they say.  And forget about being under 60.  That’s over before you know it, with all the pertinent implications...How about these particular under-40s?  Not only are they still in the full flush of life as we know it, but they have each done something or other that has gotten them noticed and, quite possibly, rich.  Being rich before 40 is even more fun than being rich after it, because you still have an impressive capacity to do something with all that gooey wealth.  Being rich after 40 is good too, mind you, but you don’t see people spending a lot of time celebrating you for it.  In fact, there’s a fair amount of annoying criticism attached to being loaded and old these days, though it still beats the alternative...What can we learn from them?  They’re aggressive and make their own ways.  They don’t care a fig about established protocols.  They are rebellious and disruptive right up to the moment there’s a chance that they will be the ones to get disrupted.  And when they get rich, they live as stupidly and hedonistically as possible.  In short, they are just like you and me, only better looking.

In closing, it would be appropriate, I think, to give a nod to those under 40 who are not mentioned elsewhere—the men and women laboring each day in tiny cubicles, grabbing breakfast, lunch, and dinner from the fancy company cafeteria where all the food is provided for free as long as you eat it fast and get back to your 16-hour workday; who travel in coach from Schenectady to Seattle selling inventory just as their daddies did (only it better be done faster); who don’t have to worry about losing their pensions, because there aren’t any long-term benefits for jobs that age out at 30.  Good luck, unsung under-40s! Sure, life’s just a little bit tougher and weirder and less private than it was in the past.  But, hey, at least you’re still pretty young.  That counts for plenty, believe me.  I’d trade a lot to be able to stay up until 4 a.m. without falling asleep with my face in the bean dip.  And you don’t need to be on any annual list to enjoy that, right?

    Originally, I had planned to write about millennials, their changing demographic and habits and comparing the rather large group with the other large group so penned with a moniker, the boomers.  But that will have to wait...I'm tired and there's so much to do (and so little gets done) and let's face it, those young girls and guys are looking younger and younger (and are no longer looking back) which can only mean...