Women

Women

    If you're a man, you've heard most of the phrases about women..."Can't live with them, can't live without them," "Why can't a woman be more like a man," "Women and cats will do what they please," and on and on.  To a woman, these almost degrading phrases are mirrored in those that are said about men.  But perhaps the entire monologue was best captured by Virginia Woolf who said, “Why are women... so much more interesting to men than men are to women?”

    This generations-old discussion has been resurfacing more and more in the past few months, but this time in a celebratory way, one highlighting not so much the disparities of the sexes (a topic I had discussed in a earlier post) but more so the accomplishments.  L'Oreal is running an extensive ad that features not their products, but Women of Worth, saying: These women symbolize the caring and sharing inherent in all women.  And the difference all women can --and do-- make every day.  We believe their causes are a cause for celebration.  Among last year's winners are Shaaron Funderburk who founded the Off the Streets program to help women recover from rape, additiction and abuse.  "I motivate women easily because I have been there."  Or Kaitlin Roig-DeBellis, founder of Classes4Classes which helps teach children compassion, caring and consideration.  "Inspired by acts of kindness, we wanted to teach children how to do the same."  Or Rachel R. Jackson-Bramwell whose Project Compassion gets homeless men and women off of the streets and gets them job training.  "I may not have a lot--but I can give what I have to help others."

   These accomplishments might seem small compared to running a massive corporation, something still dominated by men.  Breaking "the glass ceiling" or penetrating "the good ole boys club" is still a reality.  As Inc. noted, "Women own about 36 percent of U.S. businesses; just 10 percent of the Inc. 500 companies are led by a woman."  As author and editor, Kimberly Weisul says: In July, First Round Capital released some startling numbers.  The seed-stage firm examined 300 of its investments across almost 600 companies, revealing that those that included at least one woman founder performed 63 percent better, as measured by increases in valuation, than those founded by all-male teams.  In a similar vein, the Ewing Marion Kauffman Foundation showed that women-led private technology companies have a 35 percent higher return on investment than male-led ones.  When they get venture money, these women-led companies generate revenues that are 12 percent higher than those of comparable male-run tech companies.  And a study by Illuminate Ventures demonstrated that women use capital more efficiently than men...None of this happens without leadership--another area in which women, often thought to be not determined enough, not inspiring enough, not insert-adjective-here enough, actually excel.  In 2011, Zenger Folkman, a consulting firm specializing in leadership development, asked direct reports, bosses, and peers to rate 7,280 leaders on 16 traits thought to be the ingredients of outstanding leadership--from taking initiative to displaying high integrity and honesty.  Women outscored men on 12 of the 16, and did best on two measures stereotypically thought of as male strengths: driving results and taking initiative.  Women consistently rated better than men in overall leadership ability; the higher up in the organization the leaders were, the bigger the discrepancy between men and women, and the more the women shone.

    Agree or not, one fact is undeniable...our perception of women as leaders, which is how editor Weisul begins her article: Here's an experiment: Name five iconic entrepreneurs.  Actually, don't bother, because we can pretty much predict your answer.  Every year, we ask the Inc. 500 honorees to name the entrepreneurs they most admire.  The answers: Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Richard Branson, Mark Cuban, and Bill Gates.  We've also seen Mark Zuckerberg and Tony Hsieh.  The list varies a bit each year, but one constant remains: They're all men.

    Contributing editor, Norm Brodsky, added: For the past 20 years, I've spent a significant portion of my time giving advice to young entrepreneurs--about 30 a month--who come to me for help.  I do it pro bono, and I'm happy to continue seeing them after our first meeting if they want.  What's fascinating is that the women generally do, while the men generally don't...I should note that among all the people I work with, women outnumber men by about 3 to 1.  Men tend to get in touch when they have a specific problem they're struggling with, whereas women contact me because they want to become better businesspeople.  They ask a lot of questions, and they're not afraid to admit what they don't know...In the beginning, that usually involves numbers.  Most new entrepreneurs are salespeople with no background in accounting.  They don't understand the basics of finance.  I find that women are open about this and are eager to learn.  Of course, most of the men don't have a very good grasp of the financials either, but they're more likely to bluff, pretending they know more than they do...The most striking difference between men and women has to do with what they generally want out of their businesses--and how they go about getting it.  Almost without exception, the men are interested in growing their companies and making more money.  At their age, I was exactly the same way.  However, as I grew older, I realized that there's much more to life than business.  The women I meet with already seem to know this.

    How you are reacting to these comments might be giving you an insight into your deeper feelings about women.  So let's jump to just a few of the many women breaking out of the mold once thought to be cast in bronze.  Award-winning gastropub chef, April Bloomfield, helped lead the way on paying living wages to her employees, defending the once-radical practice by saying: As a business owner, you want to make money, but on the other side of the coin, you want to look after your staff.  At the end of the day, I’d rather have my staff make a good, living wage while I make a little bit less--and hope customers acknowledge that we might have to raise prices to accommodate that.  Or take 25-year old Jessica Mah, founder of InDinero and co-partner with her best friend, her company once battling having just two months of wages left for its employees (burning through $80,000 a month).  The driven entrepreneur (she read 100 business books last year, and has already finished another 50 this year) tried a different approach...she and her partner (female) went to marriage counseling (could you envision two men taking that approach?).  Her business now boosts 150 employees and last year increased business by nearly 2700% (not a typo).  Even with all that, Mah added: At the end of the day, all we have is our health, our family, and our friends.  That's it.  Or there's Lara Setrakian who wants to break the superficial coverage of news with her model, News Deeply;  or Shannon May who goal is to build schools (her non-profit Bridge International Academies has already built 412 schools in Kenya) and educate 10 million children in underdeveloped countries.  Or Elizabeth Holmes, who works 7 days a week and admittedly doesn't have a social life or even a date (she's also the youngest female billionaire at 31 and founder of the medical company Theranos which is changing the field of medical testing).

    All of this new debate of sorts, or at least the changing image of women now occurring, was summed up by Michelle Obama in a recent issue of More magazine: The truth is that too often, as women, we simply refuse to acknowledge the complexity of one another’s lives.  Even worse, we assign layers of meaning to other women’s choices that may or may not have anything to do with what they’re actually thinking or feeling: “She’s underutilizing her professional skills and selling herself short” or “She’s furthering her career at the expense of her family.”  But all those judgments and accusations are nothing but stories we impose on each other...The real story is what happens as we each struggle, agonize, compromise and make the best decisions we can with the information and resources we have.  And it’s time that we all stepped back, took a deep breath and started really listening to one another rather than viewing one another through the layers of our own judgment, insecurity and anxiety.  When we do that, we can finally start to understand the challenges other women are facing and the doubts they’re wrestling with.  Only then can we respond appropriately: with compassion, support and respect...So whether we aspire to be a mom-in-chief, a chief operating officer, commander-in-chief of the United States or a couple of those at once, it’s important for us all to remember that so many brave women before us fought to give us these choices—and now we shouldn’t be criticizing each other for making them.  If we keep fighting for basic workplace supports like paid leave and affordable child care, and we keep opening our hearts and minds to one another’s experiences, then hopefully our daughters will have even greater freedom to pursue the lives they dream of.  Ultimately, there’s no good or bad here, no right or wrong, feminist or antifeminist.  There are only our unique, complicated and precious stories—may we all learn to embrace each other’s and our own.

    Step back, take a deep breath, look anew and listen to one another.  Man or woman, the advice stands.  Our judgements and preconceptions run deep; but we're slowly discovering that what we once thought was something cast in stone, is merely sand, once wet and now drying...and soon crumbling back into an even (one hopes) plain.