Waiting

Waiting

    We've all been there, waiting.  Sometimes we wait expectantly, as in the birth of a child or the opening of a concert; sometimes we wait unexpectedly as in an appointment that runs late.  Sometimes our waits are minutes, sometimes hours, sometimes days or years (did the package arrive?, have you heard from my son?, will the bombing stop?, will we soon be rescued or sheltered or given food?).  For me, the waiting for hours part seems the most difficult, although this all comes from my comfortable and impatient life and viewpoint.  My car took hours longer to fix than expected, my dogs' prescription was somehow cancelled (after I had been called to come pick it up) and had to be redone, my item in the store wasn't in stock (after looking for a bit and not finding it and finally, as men do so grudgingly, asking for help), I seemed to hit more than my share of stoplights in traffic, my flight was delayed and cancelled (all of this happened in the past 48 hours).   Pshaw, as many would say...all trivial complaints, all minor in the big picture, and their voices are achingly so true.  The big picture again...why is it so difficult to keep in focus?

    Part of all this might be simply our concentration.  In one episode of Bizarre Science (far different than how it sounds, this one-season series tackles some questions of our perceptions from a very simplified scientific viewpoint), our input of what we see was shown to be quite blurry and somewhat colorless, that is until our brain flips and processes the images.  Go to a sports game or pick out a person in a crowd and our brain goes into massive data processing, so much so that much is actually eliminated.  But ironically, the more I tried to find information on the series and the apparent director, the more I kept getting thrown into a new diversion.  As it turns out, the "other" Steven Peters (listed as the director of the series) is somewhat of a ghost; but his counterpart is Dr. Steve Peters, author of the new book, The Chimp Paradox.  Here's what one reviewer wrote about the book: We all have moments in life that we look back on only to find ourselves shaking our heads in disbelief when we recall what we said, how we felt or what we wrote in the heat of the moment.  Actions or comments that seem entirely justified on one day often lead to wholehearted regret soon after, yet we make the same mistakes over and over again.  By developing an easy to grasp and simple to use model of our mind in which two individuals co-exist: the erratic, primal, emotional CHIMP brain on the one hand and the calm, highly-evolved, rational HUMAN brain on the other – it enables us to understand our own behaviours and, perhaps more importantly, those of the people that we encounter each day.

    Admittedly, there were times where I grew so tired of waiting (but I have learned to always carry a book with me, perhaps showing just how much "waiting" I've come to encounter) that I began to feel like this "chimp," this primal impatience that eventually grows tired and almost wants to lash out at something (such as being in a hurry and your shoelace breaks or a button falls off or your car doesn't start);  but in the big picture, these events are all so trivial.  Another traffic light (perhaps your fifth in a row)?, something you can use to increase your tension and frustration, or shrug your shoulders and let it go.  Yes, it's easy to say and there are times where being too passive gets you nowhere (the "squeaky wheel gets the grease" theory).  But from the other side, putting yourself in the place of the "messenger," would you rather reward the squeaky wheel or the one patiently waiting?  Rude and aggressive behavior rewarded?  This was the chimp in me.  Another hour?  Ah well, I'll be able to finish my book, or think about what has been going on in my life or just...do nothing.

    There are many moments of waiting in all of our lives; but at those small inconvenient times, we need to grasp hold (again) of the bigger picture.  We are not waiting in a hospital at the side of someone so ill that days or weeks have gone by without change.  We are not waiting on a raft somewhere with dozens of others, floating away from certain death but perhaps facing death in the waters ahead.  We are not waiting for a blanket or help to arrive, our home crushed from an earthquake or bomb, our remote location of little interest to anyone outside of our local roads.  For many of us, we are simply waiting...perhaps a bit impatiently, but in many respects, lucky to be doing so.  For many of us, the waiting will soon be over and once again, all will go smoothly.  We are fortunate...as with our blurry and colorless eyesight, we need only to simply wait until we finish processing the bigger picture.