BLT and G

BLT and G

    It's a bit ironic that here in the U.S. the celebration of its independence on this 4th of July* seems a bit more muted than normal.  Certainly the fireworks, at least in our neighborhood, range from the occasional loud pop at 6:15 in the morning to the distant echo of that pop somewhere around midnight.  But overall, the wild and constant Disneyland-like roar has toned down, whether from the fire danger (it's been a wet spring here followed by several weeks of intense heat, drying much of the spurt in growth), the high cost of fireworks in general (although in our state, the fireworks lobby is huge and thus fireworks are sold and used twice in July, once for marking the federal independence and again a few weeks later for celebrating the state's independence), or just a overall malaise with other issues now taking more precedence.  Aĺl of this got me thinking about issues in general...with so much out there, how do you get publicity and concern for whatever it is you're trying to promote?  One might think that because your cause is good and perhaps not for profit and that it would be good for humanity and would affect a lot of people that fund raising or getting it put on the ballot for a vote would be a snap.  But just take a peek on Ebay in their list of charities and you'll realize just how many there are, and that is just what's listed on Ebay (on that auction site you can give some or all off your sale to a charity that's listed, thus benefiting you getting rid of the junk and the charity getting the money).  So how do you do it, how do you promote your cause or bring an issue to the forefront nationwide or worldwide?  Cancer, autism, abused animals, domestic violence, diabetes, malaria, climate change, et al.

     On a segue of sorts, this got me thinking about the LGBT movement.  First off, why that name and why that order?  Was it something corporate-sponsored, the massive marketing machines of both Korea's LG and Britain's BT seeking to spread their wings? (doubtful)  Could the order just as easily have been BG (boy-girl) LT (large-tall) or BLT then G (sandwich-ing); that would have seemed easier to remember, a mnemonic of sorts without the newness.  LGBT as a word or category seems difficult to pronounce as a word by itself and is rarely used as such, forcing speakers to pronounce each letter and staccato their speech (but then we also pronounce all the letters of OB-GYN so where did that come from?).  And did the order of the letters and what they represent mean that the majority order of the respective populations of such were in order of their popularity, meaning that the lesbian population is likely larger than the gay population (and pardon my ignorance but I thought that being gay was a general overall designation and that there were thus both gay men as well as gay women; however with the LGBT moniker, the G seems to designate only gay men).  As for the B and T population, well, I simply didn't realize their numbers, at least in having enough people identifying as such as to be lumped into an overall movement.

    None of this is meant to make light of how anyone feels, for articles now appear regularly even in respected magazines such as The Atlantic and Scientific American Mind about the trials of the LGBT community and now people (and apparently priests) coming out of the closet and telling of their years of struggle now that they were well into their adulthood (even transgender children).  And despite the divide in attitudes among the general population, the issue overall is gaining ground in that people are seemingly not quite as shocked about a new law being proposed or feeling that they are being threatened.   A matter of acceptance or one of dealing better with insecurities?  Personally,  I have known many gay males and a few gay females, and have never felt at all threatened or worried that they would be doing whatever and whenever and wherever...and to me? Really?  Quite the opposite to be truthful.  I've found many of them quite funny, some quite moody, some quite insightful, some quite emotional and some quite attractive, myself laughing when they ask why does he or she have to be straight (as do many of my women friends who see a handsome fellow or Hollywood star and sigh the same lustful thought: he's gay, really, what a waste).  In other words, I've found them --meaning the LGBT community in general, although I've admittedly had little known contact with bi- or transgender people-- to simply be, well...people.

    This came up in an oblique way the other night as we (three guys) talked about the general difficulty of men expressing emotions or feelings, something that drives most women crazy and that most men just don't do or at least aren't very good at.  Just as my wife expressed her being quite comfortable with girlfriend "talk," (even more comfortable than with me, but in a different way), so it was/is with guys in general.  We talk fluff, the machismo of fixing things or sports or raucous comedy or peeing in a trough at a sporting event...but true feelings, or tears, or letting it out?  Forget it (or so our discussion went, how it made us uncomfortable, even if it was your best buddy doing the revealing).  Okay, sad...but pretty much true; which is why (in my opinion), straight men are sometimes uncomfortable around gay men (and along the same lines, women tend to feel less threatened by gay men) simply because of their being in touch with that feminine side, that expressive side, that no problem attitude of giving a needed hug or shedding a tear.

    Generalizations all, for I am not from that community so I am only making broad observations.  But when I was at a concert long ago and a girl came in and stood in line with all the men at the urinals (never looked but wasn't embarrassed either), complaining of the long line at the women's bathroom (and it was -- and always does seem to be the case because women seem to all need their own stall and wall and privacy and this slows things up considerably), all of us guys sort of shrugged our shoulders like no big deal, perhaps even inwardly applauding her guts at doing the unheard of since this was 20 years ago (she went into one of the stalls and left just as quickly, no harm, no foul).  Would a guy walk into a woman's public restroom or WC?  Doubtful, even today.  But that incident seemed to expropriate the mens room...and it really was no big deal (now 50 women crowding into the mens room line might cause a few grumbles).

    Sometimes issues we think are really big deals emerge years or decades later and we think what was the big deal?  Women's right to vote?  Freeing the slaves?  Breaking away from a monarch's rule?  It all seems like no-brainers...now.  But with each major issue, there is usually quite a long battle and quite a few scars left over to heal, the initial revolutionaries for the most part forgotten, added to the pile despite their dedication and efforts.  We might not throw up a fireworks display at everything, but perhaps each tiny victory over an issue is just that, a victory and one that should be celebrated.  We can pass judgement all we want, it's free...now.  But it wasn't always so.  And perhaps that is the real celebration of this 4th of July, the freedom, something that other countries might question or desire.  Not perfect, but as said by the Beatles long ago, "we can work it out."  Now if only LGBT would have considered the help of an editor...

   

*An interesting debunking of many of this 4th of July traditions appears in the site of National Geographic.